HAPPY NEW YEAR!! & Face Mystery SOLVED!

Well.... although I had one of my best years despite the circumstances I am still glad to see 2008 go. I know 2009 is going to be full of even more wonderful blessings and happenings! I have some goals for this new year that have me rather excited so stay tuned.....

Ok, so I went to the dermatologist yesterday for my 6wk check up to check the status of my face! Well... I left his office feeling rather strange. This doctor gives me the CREEPS and he just doesn't seem to be on the ball. So, as I was leaving the building there was this GORGEOUS derm clinic and no one was in the waiting room. I heard a voice in my head say "take charge of your health Brandy" so I went in and asked if I could be seen. The receptionist was so sweet and said they could see me in just a few minutes! So, I filled out all of the paperwork and then saw a Dr. Tyler. Both him and the nurse listened to my story about how my hormones were all out of whack due to my thyroidectomy and he sat there and explained WHY my face reacted!!!! It felt so good to have someone understand!!!

My current problem has been so strange, the acne is gone but I have had these rash like bumps all over my face. He said that the acne was due to the hormone inbalance and the bumps that came afterwards were a result from the antibiotic they put me on. See, the antibiotic got rid of too much of the good bacteria and therefore my face compensated with yeast growth (I know sounds so icky). GOOD NEWS is there is a simple cure, now on top of the other 2 medications I will be taking another pill to balance out my bacteria/yeast issue and another topical cream. Unfortunately I have to be on all 4 of these meds until my hormones are balanced. He was just so COOL and then he gave me $560 worth of samples (one of the meds the other doc has me on costs me $60 a month and he gave me a ton of free ones).

He also did a full body skin cancer check (good thing I was prepared - HAHA!!) and said everything looked great!!

I am just so relieved that he explained why my face has done this and I am so happy to move on.

NEXT STEP:

BIG appointment on 1/8/09 to get the plan from the endo doc about the next steps

I hope that you all have an incredibly blessed 2009 and thank you for sticking this out with me and I know this coming year is going to be INCREDIBLE!!!

GO MOMO!!!

Just a reminder to everyone that I am taking the month of December "off" from MOMO! I just need a sanity break. I feel great and I just want to have the life I did before Madge. The holidays are always such a joyous occasion and therefore I want to ENJOY them! :-)

So far it has been GREAT! I feel incredibly healthy (no side effects except the face issues which are better with the daily antibiotics but it is still gross). The new job is GREAT and it feels great to be so active again. It took about a week for my brain to be on my "A-Game" again but I feel almost back to normal. Well.... most of you know I have never really been normal! HAHA!

Love you all and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas! As always, thank you for your prayers and daily encouragement!!!

NEXT STEP:

Doctor appt on 12/30/08 with dermatologist to see if the pills are helping, I have doubled up on them so we will see.

Doctor appt on 1/8/09 with the endocrinologist to get the "plan". The uptake scan will be scheduled, blood work to see if my "thyroid" is still producing massive amounts of proteins, etc...

I shall give you an update after my next doctor's appointment!

MERRY CHRISTMAS and thank you all so much for putting up with me while I have had many ups and downs and sticking with me through my emotional roller coaster!

GO MOMO!!!

GOOD UPDATE!!!!

Dr. Zhang came to yesterday morning and stated he had a very long talk with Dr. Maillard (the one who wants to scrape out my entire neck) and he actually said that what he explained made complete sense. So, a couple of hours later Dr. Maillard called me to his office (luckily it is just a few floors up from me).

This is what he said:

1. He stated that the best course of action is to FIRST do the uptake scan of the entire body to see if the cancer has metastasized - this was already planned to take place in January.

2. If my scan "glows" and shows any cancer then he thinks we should first nuke it again with radiation and then do another uptake scan 6 weeks after that to ensure it has been "killed". If it was not killed then I need surgery and radiation again. I am sure it will glow since it did before. He said nuking it is much easier on me and worth trying first to save me from surgery if it works.

3. If the scan does NOT glow then he said they will have to go in surgically to find it because sometimes with this particular type of cancer the tumors do not intake the radiation(remember that 21%). He said they are sure the cancer is there so we actually WANT the scan to glow to guide them to exactly where it is.

4. He wanted to make sure that before my uptake scan the doctor does NOT take me off my thyroid medication for 5 weeks like I was told would happen. He said these days there is a new technique where they give you a certain hormone and therefore you don't have to suffer - I WILL TAKE IT!! That was my biggest fear was after taking 5 months to get the medication regulated only to have to get off and start over. I did not want to feel that way again and he said there is NO reason to do that! YEAH! That just made me over the moon happy!!!!

He warned that surgery is the last resort because my complication risks are very high since I have already had surgery, they include partial or complete vocal cord damage and/or damaging the para-thyroids which will cause a calcium issues which are very dangerous.

I mentioned to him that I have been having an increasingly difficult time swallowing and my voice is also having some issues. He said that made complete sense after looking at my CT and then he showed me the CT and explained everything in great detail. This is what he said:

1. My esophagus was shifted over about 3/4" to my right due to the surgery and there is scar tissue pressing into it causing the swallowing issues. The good news is my trachea is completely open and not affected. We just have to hope that the scar tissue doesn't keep growing and then have to have it taken out.

2. He pointed out a "very large" area of concern, it is to the left of the trachea which he states is either a very large tumor or a large growth of scar tissue. To me it just looked like a big blob! Since my ultrasound in July showed a "suspicious" lymph node in the area he pretty much thinks it is a tumor but he said we will know for sure when I have that uptake scan because it should "glow".

3. He also pointed out the residual thyroid tissue. He explained that when they "clipped" the thyroid off they basically left the "stem". He said it usually is "killed" be the radiation and does not work but of course you know my body has never given me the easy route! :-)

So, at this point I can just sit back and relax and enjoy NO DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS until 12/30 & 1/8/09. Those are the next 2 and we will know the specific plan after the 1/8/09 appt.

I am not sure at this point if I will go to the doctor at Methodist since these 2 doctors seem to be on the same page now and it seems pretty clear cut to me. I just have to make sure to get that hormone from my endo, she might have a different mindset.

So at this point I am all for going through the radiation again FIRST to try to kill it and avoid another surgery which will be more risky. Not that the risks are really that bad (I am sure certain people would mind me losing my voice permanently - HAHA!!) but looks like we could get Madge with just some more radiation - YEAH!!!

The radiation was not difficult except all the contamination rules and the cramping and saliva gland issues. That is SMALL beans my friends!

I just feel rejuvenated and excited. I woke up full of energy and life! Just to know that it could be an easier journey and that I don't have to think about it until JANUARY! I am looking forward to taking a break from all the appointments and daily changes in the plan! :-) I am going to do my best to ignore Madge and just maybe she will get pissed off and want to leave this next time! :-)

GO MOMO!!!!

** I just want to thank you again for always giving me such encouraging words of support and I feel like such a "sham" sometimes because people always tell me how positive and inspiring I am but most people don't get to see me crying in the shower, having days where I just ask God to take me home, etc..... I GET ALL MY STRENGTH FROM GOD AND MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY who are always there for me! You guys keep me going and because I know He is using me it gets me out of bed every day!

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU WOULD STILL BE READING THIS BLOG 7 MONTHS LATER!

QUICK SYMPTOM UPDATE:

* Acne is really clearing up now! So HAPPY!

* I had 5 periods in 8 weeks - hormones are a b*itch!! So was I - HAHA!!!

* The dizziness is back just when I stand up but I think that was due to me accidentally missing a dose or 2 of my medication and then adding the steroids and massive antibiotics, my body just probably needs time to adjust (sounds good)

* Hair is extremely brittle - this is from the thyroid med

* Weight is still holding steady at 142lbs

* I have to eat a snack around 9-10am or I get really nauseous (I am sure from the morning meds)

OK, you are ALL caught up on the latest! This was a LONG one so it should hold you over until my next update which I HOPE is not until JANUARY! :-)

LOVE YOU ALL!

TWO Updates Today!

Just wanted to tell you that I went to the dermatologist and he said that due to the "extent" of the hormonal acne that he is first going to put me on a long term antibiotic (every day for 2 months to start with) since I had a good result with my current antibiotics. However, he changed it to the same thing I was on last month (Doxycycline) that made my esophagus inflame. That is ok though, I just know I need to take it way before bed time so it doesn't sit in my throat and irritate it. He said that should work but since I am going through so much then if it doesn't he will put me on Accutane.. that is some GREAT stuff, cures acne PERMANENTLY!!! We will see.....

He also gave me a topical cream that costs $60 WITH insurance! Better work! HAHA!!

I had a GREAT day, I feel good and since my face cleared up quite a bit I felt normal again!

This is a VERY active week for me since it is my LAST week with neurosurgery. Lots of fun parties, etc.... I am still very sad to leave my wonderful doctor but I know we will still be there for each other!!

Hopefully I can tell you tomorrow when my appointment is with Dr. Robbins! YEA!!

I am actually going to go WORK OUT!! Yes.... I feel THAT great!

GO MOMO!!!

Just wanted to give you a quick update!

1. Dr. Richard Robbins (National Comprehensive Cancer Network Panel Member on Thyroid Cancer– went to Yale and Cornell) has agreed to see me after a couple of phone conversations with Dr. Zhang who I work for. Dr. Zhang was told he is the best Thyroid Cancer specialist in Houston and so we will give him a go. I called the liaison back to schedule the appt and am now just waiting for their return call.

2. Over the past 3 or 4 days it is getting increasingly more difficult to swallow. I have a call into my endo doctor, they will probably do an ultrasound – since the last one they only scanned my salivary glands.

3. I have an appointment today with the dermatologist, but I woke up today and my face is 70% better! WHEW!! I guess 8 antibiotics a day does the trick!! :-)

4. I felt kind of icky for a couple of days but I had accidentally forgotten to take my medication. I feel great today and am FULL of energy! I think just the fact that my face is clearing up is lifting my spirits!!

Ok, I just wanted to share the news about getting approved to see Dr. Robbins (he only takes doctor to doctor referrals so Dr. Zhang came through for me!!).

Had 2nd Opinon - TIME FOR A 3RD!!

I went to the doctor on Friday who is treating my saliva gland issues. When I showed him pictures of how my glands swell up (I knew they would decide not to cooperate and pop out before my appointment regardless of all the sour candy I crammed in my mouth) he was quite surprised since he had only seen one of the glands swollen and not both. I was explaining to him how my endocrinologist was a bit worried that since she stated I will have to have radiation again that this will further damage the saliva glands and cause me more pain in the future.

He asked why I needed more surgery and radiation. I told him that the last blood test showed that my thyroid was apparently still very active and she said there was probably about 10% of the tissue still there and I have 2 new "suspicious" nodules. He grabbed my shoulders and looked me square in the eyes and said, "you do know I am a thyroid cancer specialist right?". I SAID NO!!!! I had NO idea!! He took me to his office and showed me all of the diplomas and certifications for thyroid specialist and neck surgery, etc..... Then he showed me two papers he just wrote that are about to be published in medical journals on.... HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY OPERATE ON THYROID CANCER!!! I just knew the Lord had me right there for a reason! HELLO!!!!

So, we sat down again and he had me explain in GREAT detail every test, procedure, result, etc..... He placed his head in his hands and just shook his head. Then he looked at me and said, "I am so sorry but this is pretty bad, they really mistreated you and it has now caused you to face some very difficult treatment and I am so sorry but this is what I do and I know what I am talking about".

He then went on to explain what they did wrong:

1. They did not take out all lymph nodes and nodules (he said they just "cherry picked")

2. They did not give me a certain shot after surgery so I would not go into hyperthyroidism

3. They gave me my radiation 3 1/2 weeks after surgery and did not wait the MINIMUM of 6 weeks

4. They did not test me for a certain cell that 21% of people have with my specific cancer that does not allow for the uptake of the radioactive iodine.

Here is what he states he would do for me at this point:

1. First get the uptake scan to ensure the cancer has not metastasized into my lungs or bones since it has now had time in my body to run around and have fun

2. Then the surgery he states is now necessary is to make an incision from one side of my neck to the other (yes... half my head) and peel back my entire neck to take out every lymph node and every nodule.

He said that I could have these surgeries multiple times if I have that certain cell (sorry... I was so surprised I didn't write it down).

He did reassure me that my life expectancy has not changed - ya'll aren't getting rid of me that easy! HAHA!! This of course is if it hasn't spread further than the lymph nodes.

So, this was a lot to take in on Friday. I couldn't even text or call anyone about it. I finally allowed myself to think about it and after laying in bed for an hour and then getting the encouragement I needed from a dear friend I told my sisters. Of course this is a lot to take in at this point since like myself I am sure you probably thought this would ALL be over soon!

I am so sorry, you are just going to have to keep reading this darn blog! :-) There are just 2 things that are bothering me about all of this.

1. I gave my notice on Friday morning at my job to start a new one on 12/1 and I heard all of this that very afternoon! How ironic huh???

2. Of course you all know by now that I want this over but you also know I can handle it, what I cannot handle is knowing I am the cause of sadness for those I love.

SO PLEASE JUST STAY POSITIVE AND WE CAN FIGHT MADGE TOGETHER!!!

The good thing is I know now what made me so sick the first time and so this next time I will be ready!!

One other great thing to report.... I HAVE FELT GREAT FOR 13 STRAIGHT DAYS!!!! I can handle the saliva stone pain!! Not a single side effect! I am on steroids now (yes... I started working out again the other day, might as well take advantage- HAHA!!). Also my face is so broken out I am taking medication to control it (we are not talking about a few blemishes here and there, it is a full on mountain range!!!). I must confess, I swear I haven't really thought of myself as a vain person (ya'll know I love camping and my dream is to work in a refugee camp - that is not glamorous!!!) but this face issue made me realize how I took my clear face for granted!!!!!

I learned that I also took feeling good for granted! 13 great days in a row.... it is like a slice of Heaven each day that I wake up and don't have to lay in bed for 20 minutes trying to stop the room from spinning, stop myself from running to the toilet to puke, or keep myself from passing out! A GREAT 13 DAYS!!!!

Love your health!

NEXT STEPS:

1. Tomorrow I will call Dr. Maillard's office to set up our "meeting" to get his full plan (he was not prepared to discuss my cancer so he wants to set a time aside this week to explain everything. I will write stuff down to report back.

2. I am supposed to call the Endo doc's office to set up the next phase of treatment for early Jan, I will still do this just in case.

3. One of my docs is going to start the process for me to get into MD Anderson. This is a highly specialized cancer hospital with the best experts, I just really didn't think I would need it.

I know, big update today! Trust me, it took all weekend to sink in.

I feel there are some very big changes coming up for my life. Just know that I am at peace with it all, again, I have accomplished that one thing in life I wanted to do so everything from this point on is the sprinkle on top! :-) I jsut wanted that darn SURVIVOR shirt sooner! HAHA!!!

Please feel free to e-mail me any questions @ brandykc72@yahoo.com

LOVE YOU ALL!

GO MOMO!!!!!!!!!!

BIG UPDATE!!

Is that not the cutest little pink monster you have ever seen???

My dear friends and family....... you all know how I love to throw a party and love to play hostess?? Well... apparently MADGE (aka my cancer) has decided that I am just too good of a hostess and she doesn't want to leave! I cannot say that I blame her, for the most part I have not complained too much about her stay here and I have found that she has actually been very useful for those around me. However, as much as I hate to be mean it is time once and for all that I give Madge her eviction notice!!!!

HERE IS THE LATEST:

My doctor called me Friday morning (Halloween) as I was getting started with my day and preparing to see 25 patients. She said that one of the recent tests (thyroid globulin) showed that I was still producing a significant amount of protein from my THYROID. Yes, she went on to explain that they probably took out about 90% of my thyroid and there was still tissue in there and that is not a good thing. This means the cancer causing tissue is still there and then she went on to explain that the 2 "suspicious lymph nodes" were probably a result from this left over tissue (the cancer is still there growing).

So, here is the latest plan (just got to keep you guys on your toes):

1. I will go to the OTO doc this week to see if they want to take out the saliva glands. Since it was the radiation that caused this problem then I need to talk to him about the next dose of radiation and what I can do to prevent this happening again with my glands (if they don't take them out).

2. I will see my ENDO doc the first week of January to do an "uptake" test which is a small amount of radiation and then do a FULL body scan to see if the cancer has spread. To do this I will have to stop my thyroid medication for I think 5 weeks prior. So, that means I might get very lethargic and not feel so well for a while. A necessary evil I guess.

3. She said she thinks at this point since the test showed such a significant amount of protein secretion then she is pretty sure I will have another surgery on my neck to scrape out the rest of the tissue and what has grown. Then another dose of radiation. Basically just a repeat of what I have already done.

After I hung up with her I did burst into tears. I am just ready to get on with my life and not talk about it any more. But then I realized that so many wonderful things happened over the last 6 months because of this that I just might be in store for some more wonderful and positive things so after feeling sorry for myself for about 20 minutes I held my head up and am focused on the positive!!!!!

I have felt SO great this entire past week and so I am ready to keep fighting and not give up. Now, over the past month with that saliva gland infection I was so sick and I did ask the Lord to take me home a few times. I know he healed me and got me back up to par so I could take on this next round.

I am a little disappointed that I cannot say I beat cancer in 2 months like I really wanted to but hey.... at least I KNOW I am going to beat it! :-)

I am still going to survive and carry on! The only thing is that we do not want this to have spread to the lungs or bones. So, when I have that body scan in January we want a CLEAR AND CLEAN scan! NO GLOWING areas (it is the same two I had before)!!!!

Everything is still going to turn out great, just going to take a little longer! The other thing that I am a bit sad about is that if I do have to have another surgery then I cannot be deemed "cancer free" until a year after that date. Again, at least I will have beat it!!! :-)

You all know that I am too soft hearted and do not like confrontation. Well, I feel really bad but I am just going to have to start getting really mean and pack Madge's bags for her!!! HAHA!!

I cannot even begin to express how much your love and support has gotten me through all of this and it feels so good to know that I have the best people lifting me up every single day.

I love you all!

GO MOMO!!!!

I leave you with the PERFECT bible verse from today's sermon (yes... it was intended just for me today!!)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~ II Cor 4:16-18

AMEN!!

Another Gland!!

I was so happy today that I felt so good! I was even bragging to Mama G & Grammy through e-mail that I was much better and feeling good! Well, around 5:30pm I popped another lemon candy in my mouth (to keep that saliva flowing) and I had the most excruciating pain under my right ear. It happened on and off and then around 7:00pm it got so bad all I could do was hold my face and cry. I thought about going to the emergency room the pain was so bad. This went on for about 30 minutes and the side of my face swelled up pretty bad. I even took a picture for the doctor - you know how you go and everything looks fine... I wanted to prove it!! Sometimes I think I sound like a hyperchondriac!!

This pain is about 10 times worse than the other gland so I am very discouraged this evening thinking I will have to have this surgery now. I know... I will go see the OTO doc tomorrow and I will report back to ya'll.

I am adding a picture so you can see that the first 2 weeks has been the submandibular gland that was swelling and had the stones. That swelled up today but it is no where near the pain of this new one which is the parotid gland.

HERE IS SOMETHING TO EXPLAIN IT THAT I FOUND ON THE WEB:

The most likely cause for this appears to be a blockage of the flow of the saliva out of the glands caused by a narrowing of the ducts. This narrowing is the result of scarring due to inflammation caused by the radiation. Thus, as one begins to eat, the volume of saliva increases but cannot pass through the narrowed duct into the volume of saliva increases but cannot pass through the narrowed duct into the mouth. The gland then rapidly swells, which can be painful. In some people, discomfort can result simply by looking at appetizing food.

The good thing about all of this is that I am learning so much about what different parts of the body does. I am now well versed on thyroids, lymph nodes, and now saliva glands! :-)

Also, we take our bodies for granted each day when we are feeling good. Once you have a "problem" like this and you learn what an amazing masterpiece the body is and how intricate it is.... how can you not believe in the almighty Creator???

I really didn't think I would have so many updates!! Goodness! Just keeping ya'll entertained. I have been joking this week that I am God's own private joke! HAHA!!

Spirits are still up and my energy is great! Just hard to talk sometimes and that excruciating pain but still doing GREAT!! Don't feel bad for me, I really can handle the pain, I am just still so thankful I am not dizzy any more!!! :-)


Hang in there with me... this is going to be very interesting!!!

GO MOMO (I am coming after you!!)

QUICK THING

Well... the antibiotic caused my esophagus to inflame and now I cannot drink, eat, laugh, or breathe deep without severe pain. I tell ya....... HOWEVER, I am still strong and encouraged today! I am looking forward to the weekend!

I just have to be careful right now because they said it could easily rupture. So, I am coating it with yummy things like Mylanta! I know...... don't be jealous now! :-) HAHA!! The dizziness and nausea did not bother me today so I can function with pain, that is the easy part for me. So... it was a GOOD day! :-)

I am really looking forward to this wonderful weekend! The weather is amazing right now!

Oh What A Week!

My bro-in-law Mike is somewhere in that picture running the race!! What an accomplishment - I am so proud and honored that he ran it as a charity runner for the American Cancer Society! That is love!!!

SOME WORDS OF WISDOM FROM HIM:

"One step in front of the other, before too long, you will be amazed at how far you have come
the distance yet to be traveled will be filled with old and new friends"

Ok... I finally have a big update! So much has happened this week!! I started writing this blog on Monday but so much was happening that I didn't get to finish! I am going to post what I wrote and then you can get the latest at the end. :-)

I unfortunately had a little issue last Wednesday and ended up in the ER due to having certain symptoms my doctors were concerned about. Since I had shortness of breath, extreme dizziness, and that lymph node was swelling to the size of a golf ball they were concerned. So, I went and had a CT in the ER and the doctor I work for brought his own team down there to get their advice (it really does pay to work for doctors!!!). After much consulting and investigating they came to the conclusion that my saliva gland was infected which was causing the other symptoms as well. So, I was placed on antibiotics and anti-vertigo medicine (not taking that one) and sent on my merry way.

I went to my endocrinologist the next day and explained everything to her as well as how icky I have been feeling. She did say it could be because the iodine radiation does come out the saliva glands (remember the lemon candies I had to suck on after radiation and that this month is when they said it would “come out”). Well, that pesky radiation has decided to not slip out quietly.

Here are the other things that happened during my visit:

1. She stated that my T4 was still not suppressed enough and she wanted to RAISE my dose, now all the docs in the ER and the docs I work with seem to think my dose is extraordinarily high and I have been advised to seek a second opinion.

2. She stated that the last scan I had did show residual thyroid tissue, this just means that the cancer can grow back since the cancer causing tissue is still there. So, when they took the thyroid and scraped my trachea they just didn’t get it all.

3. I had an ultrasound today to check the lymph node and nodules, this should tell us a lot about what is going on – the biggest being if my lymph node needs to be treated and if the thyroid tissue is still there.

4. I will be given a very small dose of radiation in 4 to 6 months and then they will do another scan to see if there is ANY cancer. If not then I will be deemed CANCER FREE!!!

5. She told me to stop taking ALL vitamins because they are interfering with the absorption of my Synthroid medication.

Thursday afternoon I went to an ENT doctor because my Endo doctor wanted to ensure that my saliva gland was not in danger due to the radiation. Well, I did go see one and he just agreed with everyone else and said that my saliva gland was infected and to take the antibiotics. He said that if it was not better in a week then they might consider taking it out.

It is now Monday, I have taken my antibiotics and have done everything I was told to do. I actually only swelled up once this weekend and other than that I felt GREAT!!! I dare say I almost felt NORMAL!! I know… very exciting.

I think my doctor could have been right and it was probably the infection making me feel so darn bad. The extreme dizziness is better and that “overall” sick feeling is almost completely gone! I had the GREATEST weekend!

Oh… I also have started really watching my iodine intake and I think that will definitely help. Since my tongue is secreting a salty taste constantly (the iodine radiation) then I know my body does not need any more so I am tyring to be good – I ACTUALLY DID NOT GET MY FAVORITE SHRIMP ROLL YESTERDAY! Boo hoo!

NEXT STEP:
We need the ultrasound results – that should be tomorrow

NOW FOR THE LATEST:

It is now Thursday and unfortunately my feeling great ended on Tuesday, yes, you read that right! The day after I typed how great I was feeling it went down hill again. I went to an Otolaryngologist today and he told me there was just one thing he could do to try to keep me from having surgery. He kept telling me to hang in there and then he decided to do some medieval procedure that reminded me of a SAW movie! I won’t go into the details but all I can say is at one point he shoved a long wire into my gland and kept jamming it in there trying to unblock the obstruction (stones). It hurt so bad I literally went into shock and couldn't’t move when he was done. He kept telling me it was all over and I could go but I just couldn't’t move! OUCH!!!!

I am now to put lemon juice in my mouth to keep the saliva going and to “milk” my own gland! HAHA! Yes… I have to rub it to keep the saliva going.

HERE IS THE LOW DOWN:

The radiation was passing out of my body through the saliva gland and it somehow caused some sort of damage where the saliva got caught up and then an obstruction happened and then STONES formed in my gland. He was able to get 4 out but could not get 1 other one out. So, he stated to keep on my antibiotics and then if it isn’t better in 2 weeks I will have a minor surgery to get it out.

I tell ya… I sure wasn’t expecting an issue with my saliva gland from all of this. It threw me for a loop and being so sick from the infection really did get me down and frustrated. But, I was reading some e-mails that a friend wrote to me a couple of months ago about how my positive attitude through all of this has changed their life and it was a nice reminder to me to get my act together, pick my head back up and keep moving forward! There are people out there dealing with much worse, I can’t let this get to me! I had my moments in bed and on the couch sulking. I am done with that and it is time to show MADGE who is boss again!

She won this last round but the next one is ALL MINE!!!

I am going in for the KNOCK OUT once and for all!!

NEXT STEPS:

— My endo doc called today and said she was still waiting for some results to come back and she will call me when they do to give me the next step
— My ultrasound just revealed my lymph node on the right was larger – the tech didn’t get the whole neck
— I have to wait and see if the doctor was successful today and the stones are gone, if not then I might need surgery to remove what is left
— I am still going to get a 2nd opinion with an Endo doc just to make sure I am on the right track with the medication – it is something I have to be on for the rest of my life and I want to make sure it is right! I want to find my right levels soon, I just want to feel normal again!

Okay…. I will give you an update as soon as something happens. I tried to get this one out to you quickly but I was feeling so bad.

Love you all ~

Lessons Learned!!!

I really do apologize for not writing on here for so long! I wish I could say it was because I was off on some fabulous vacation or that I have just been out having so much fun and feeling so great that I forgot to do it! Well.... it has been quite the opposite lately.

I don't even know where to begin. It seem that since hurricane IKE hit I have been feeling worse and worse. First it was just every few days and now it has gotten to the point where about 60-70% of my day I am feeling very poorly. Yesterday I stayed home all day and had quite the "breakdown" and just cried and cried due to being so frustrated that I can fix certain symptoms with pain medication or eating less iodine but there are certain things I cannot control and quite frankly I have had it.

So, today I called my doctor and I explained that I felt they had me on to high of a dose of my thyroid medication. Just a couple hours later I was eating lunch and I felt this strange sensation below my jaw on the right side and then a sharp pain and you would NOT believe (I have witnesses) that a large bump popped out the size of a golf ball! Everyone panicked at the table and once again I was calling my doctor. It hurt to talk, eat, swallow, etc...... I have not been feeling like I was getting a cold or flu so I didn't know why my glad had blown up like that.

I waited and waited for the endo doctor to call me back so I called my internal medicine doctor's office (my actual doctor is on maternity leave). I explained all these symptoms that I have been having as well:

• Chest pain


• Hard to breathe sometimes (either heavy chest or sometimes it feels like something is in my throat)


• Increased migraines


• Headaches about 50% of the day


• Extreme dizziness


• Motion sickness


• I have developed severe acne on my face, scalp, etc.....


• I have a salt taste in my mouth quite often


• Feeling flush quite frequently


• Hard to focus

So, I see the internist tomorrow who thinks I have some sort of infection. Then on the way home my endocrinologist called me and asked me all sorts of questions and she thinks it could be a saliva gland stone (I explained it was not that gland that blew up but she couldn't explain it).

Here is the GREAT news...... SHE SAID THAT I WAS DUE TO COME SEE HER IN 4 WEEKS BUT SEEING ME THIS WEEK WON'T HURT ANY SO I GET A BIG UPDATE THIS WEEK!!! YEAH!!!

I feel great tonight and I contribute it all to having a sense of relief in sight! I just want to get to the doc and explain everything and have her FIX IT! I know, I know... this is not a quick fix but I do feel so much better when I know something might change soon.

Now, on to the "Lesson Learned" part. As most of you know Gene's 33 year old brother passed away last year and ever since we have called our insurance agent a couple of times saying we wanted to double our life insurance (mind you if you are buried you are looking at a minimum of $7,000 - without a service!!!). The reality just hit home and we started thinking about how much we would need to pay off the house and live comfortably with out any worries ,etc...... So, you know how it goes when you get busy with work, etc...etc.... As of a couple of weeks ago we STILL hadn't changed our insurance!!!

So, I called our agent again and he asked me if we were still healthy. You know me.... I couldn't say otherwise so I told him I had thyroid cancer. First he said his "sorries" then he said, "well, I hate to tell you this but you are UNINSURABLE". He said even though thyroid cancer is not going to kill me that just the WORD cancer is an "insurance killer" so he is going to check into adding another 5 year term policy to my current one in a few years after my "remission".

PLEASE LEARN FROM THIS THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT UP ON YOUR LIFE INSURANCE!!! Do it before it is too late and you are stuck with a policy that will only get your spouse a Corvette and not the Ferrari! HAHA!!! Oh, and make sure you have your short term and long term insurance!!! I have had both since I started working 20 years ago and wouldn't you know MY COMPANY made a mistake and it dropped off... I noticed it and called my HR department and she said I just needed to fill out a form. WELL I SAT ON IT AND A MONTH LATER I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER!!!!!! I went without a paycheck for 6 weeks, if it would have been a "worse" cancer I would have been out with out pay for MONTHS!

Please learn from my laziness and take the necessary action

TODAY if you need to!!! :-)

I will give you an update after my doctor's appointments. I cannot wait to see what kind of testing I will have done soon (remember my Nov 24th appt was a BIGGIE and now I get to have it THIS WEEK!!!).

Again, my apologies for the delay.... this is one of those moments I can blame MADGE!!! She does come in handy once in a great while! HAHA!!

LOVE YOU ALL!!

GO MOMO!!!!

* My great bro-in-law also ran the marathon this past weekend in Chicago! I am hoping to have an update on that and some pictures!!

SU2C

I got home last night just in time to watch the last part of the STAND UP TO CANCER and let me tell you.... I cried my eyes out! I know how blessed I have been to have an "easy" cancer but non the less it has changed my world as I know it. I found out recently that if I would have waited a little longer to go to the doctor my chances of survival would have gone down to 60%!! That is still good but how would we have all felt if you would have heard I only had a 60% chance to live! What if I would have had the one type of thyroid cancer with a 6% survival rate???? We all know how my "easy" cancer has affected us... now think of those who are battling for their lives at this very moment! It makes me break down and cry (just started again) thinking that I was incredibly blessed and there must be something we can do to fight it and help those who are not as fortunate!!

I came to appreciate my cancer because out of it came some wonderful things but I also became angry at my body for betraying me. What causes these cells to grow in some and not others?? WHY ME? I honestly can say that I am happy it was me and not anyone I care about and I would do it again 100 times if I knew it wouldn't affect any one of you. It is just so fascinating and frustrating not knowing WHY my body did this. I really do believe GOD has used me with this and for that I am grateful and I wouldn't change a thing but it still is so intriguing.

I cannot wait to buy my SURVIVOR t-shirt on the Stand Up 2 Cancer Web Site and I am going to wait until next APRIL when I WILL get that clean bill of health! For now, I must stay strong and keep fighting the good fight! :-)

Here is just a little update:

Over this past week I have been increasingly feeling worse, i.e. faintish, dizzy, headaches, motion sickness, and tired. I will probably call my doc on Monday to see if my dose is too high. The problem is it takes 5-8 weeks for this medication to kick in so it isn't a quick fix.

My bro-in-law is still running the Chicago Marathon 10/15 as a charity runner for the American Cancer Society and I will post info this weekend on how you can donate and sponsor him!! I am still so touched that my loved ones have really joined in the MOMO fight and keep sticking by my side regardless of how "out of touch" I get because I am not feeling well or just so tired. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Ok.... obviously I am still feeling better because I am sitting here typing a book! I will post again REAL soon~

SU2MOMO!!

HAD A LITTLE SET BACK!

Hello everyone! I apologize for the long delay in updating my blog!! I must confess and be totally honest with ya’ll….. starting on 8/7/08 someone had said something negative about my weight loss that completely hurt my feelings and I couldn't’t stop crying for 5 whole days (I haven't cried like that since my Papa died in 2000)! Don't worry, it isn't anyone who reads this blog!! I didn’t want to get out of bed and I just had no desire to do anything! Nothing made me happy… NOTHING AT ALL!! After living in a complete state of unhappiness for 5 days I realized something had to change! I am not like that and I missed being happy and positive and going with the flow and enjoying life!!! Usually things don't get to me like that!!

I thought real hard what could have changed my emotions so drastically and I realized it was probably 1 of 2 things OR BOTH!! One being I had gone into a depression and the second being my hormone levels, they were 20 times higher than a normal person at my last blood test. So, we decided to take me off the birth control for one and I tried REALLY hard to have HAPPY thoughts 24/7. It was that or call for an exorcism - HAHA!!. Five days later at about 9:00pm I was sitting on the couch (ok I was laying there wrapped in my favorite robe feeling sorry for myself) and VIOLA! I snapped back to my old self again! It was the STRANGEST feeling!!! It was like all the misery just washed down the drain and I was BACK!

I really apologize to my loved ones for "checking out" for 2 weeks and I know you love me regardless and it means the world to me that you just keep hanging in there with me in spite of all of the sickness, tiredness, and now depression that I have gone through.

I now have a lot of compassion for those who go through depression! Just one more thing God let me go through to have more compassion for others!!!! It was miserable and so incredibly frustrating that I could not MAKE myself change back into my regular self. My doctor had warned me in the beginning that people with my diagnosis and on this medication usually will go through a major depression but come on… I really didn’t think it would happen to ME!!! Of course I never thought I would be diagnosed with cancer either! I am learning to expect the unexpected at any time! :-)

The dizziness and headaches have come back but my appetite is HUGE!! I haven't gained any weight but since I stopped working out over a month ago in trying to gain 10lbs I got flabby and had very low energy. I have now changed my goal of trying to gain 10lbs by the end of this month to 5lbs and I am going to try to do it the healthy way and start working out again. My energy has been SUPER low - I sleep ALL the time. So, gaining muscle is better than nothing and it should get my energy back up there! :-)

I had a reality check this past week as well. I had to speak to someone and be on my "A game" and I realized that I am not the person I used to be quite yet. I lost my words, couldn't concentrate, tired out very quickly, and just wasn't quick witted and then afterwards I came down with my usaul motion sickness. I realize that I am still sick and it will take a while to get back to the same ol' Brandy. At least I am not boo hooing on the couch anymore!! YEAH!!

Love you all and I will update again real soon (I love how random people come up to me and tell me they miss my blog - that is so cool!!!!).

Thank you all for reading and supporting me!!

GO MOMO!!!!

Per Your Requests......

Yes... we filled our gas tanks and have plenty of water! :-) All is well so far, it should be interesting to see just how bad Eduardo treats us tomorrow!

I have been asked quite a bit about where to go to look at my pictures for sale. Gene is going to put up my flash page this week on graysonandlane.com but for now you can go to:

http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/graysonandlane

I have been practicing my "autograph" for the mats (I need to ship one tomorrow baring any hurricane crisis).

I am still so excited about my dream coming true! I am hoping to have at least 5 more pictures done this coming weekend (once again baring any natural disasters!!). :-)

The only MOMO things that have been going on are that I am STILL very dizzy when I stand up and I have been having a lot of headaches. The doctor seems to think increasing my medication will help.... ???? I was in a MAJOR funk this past weekend and I just have this feeling like I am "floating". I just cannot seem to grasp a thought and I cannot seem to concentrate. Lack of concentration is a symptom of not having a thyroid so hopefully the medication will take care of that soon (I love having an "excuse" for all of my inadequacies!! HAHA).

I hope as you are reading this you are happy and healthy!

GO MOMO!!!!

Doctor Called!!

OK... the doctor called and here is the latest news:

1. She is INCREASING my medication from 137mcg's to 175 due to my blood work results!! I am already on a high dose so increasing it might mean these ever so wonderful symptoms that I have might increase as well, like:

a. My hair is extremely brittle - but I think it stopped falling out

b. High energy - but more shouldn't hurt!!! :-)

c. Headaches

d. Dizziness - usually just when I stand up

e. Dry skin - I just lather up with the lotion daily (yes that is an official symptom)

f. MORE weigh loss... I am at 140lbs right now (my "happy" weight is 165lbs)

That is pretty much it (not too shabby after all that icky stuff I have experienced!!), I have been lucky with my heart condition that it hasn't affected it very much (I thought for sure that would be my biggest problem since the thyroid regulates the heartbeat and the medication speeds the heart up).

2. She said that YES there are 2 new tumors BUT they seem to "look" ok and we are going to use them as my baseline and in 4 months when I have more tests they will look at them again and if they "look" bad or have grown then we will deal with them at that time.

THAT IS IT!!! Remember, this is the doctor that doesn't crack a smile and NEVER EVER laughs at my jokes!!!! She just reiterated that it was CRUCIAL that I don't miss my next appointment because it is VERY VERY important. The woman scares me but she is a phenomenal doctor!!!

So, I am a little anxious how the even higher dose will affect me but the current dose has made me feel SO great (energy wise) that maybe this one will be even BETTER!!!

So many great things have happened this week, including hearing from my Uncle Kee (my Papa's brother) who we were all so worried about!!!! He lives in Peru and we hadn't heard from him since the devastating earthquake 8 months ago! PRAISE GOD HIM AND HIS WIFE DOMI ARE ALIVE AND WELL (and their 2 cats Blackie and PeePee - love that name)!!!

Check back soon!!

My bro-in-law Mike is running the Chicago Marathon as a charity runner for the American Cancer Society in honor of STOMPING OUT MADGE and I will be posting some info on that shortly!!!! GO BRO!!!! LOVE YA!

GO MOMO!!!

** I am designing a necklace right now with MOMO on it! It is a lot of fun!

Ultrasound Update

~ Papa G's Birthday Party Sunday,

July 27th, 2008 ~

LOOK HOW BIG BRENNA IS GETTING!!

(and see how my scar is barely noticeable!!!!)

I am so sorry but I have had NO time to give you an update!! I am about to run again (the good thing is I have the energy to keep running!!!).

I will give a VERY detailed post tomorrow but to appease you here is a "quick" version:

1. Haven't heard a word back from the doctor

2. Saw my ultrasound report and it said..... NO EVIDENCE OF THYROID RESIDUAL TISSUE!!!

THIS IS HUGE NEWS!!! If there is NO residual thyroid tissue (they got it ALL out during surgery) then my recurrence rate is EXTREMELY LOW!!! If there is no thyroid tissue then the cancer isn't going to be FED AND REGROW!!!!!!

The report said 2 unspecific lymph nodes which could mean anything.... even if it isn't good it just means the radiation will keep trying to kill the tumors (remember doc said it will take 3 more months from now to do its complete job) and worst case scenario then more radiation... NO BIGGIE!!! I would love to be quarantined again after working for the past 2 months! WOW - it has been 2 months already!!!

I AM ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!! I feel so fantastic and to know there is NO thyroid tissue makes me feel like I am SO CLOSE TO THE END!!!!

I will update you again as soon as the doctor calls me.

** I think we can almost start singing that song.... NO MO MOMO!!!!

Doctor Visit Today!!!

(more my work)

Well I FINALLY went to the doctor and have something NEW to tell you! I went to see my endocrinologist who is the only doctor I need to see now. She is maintaining my thyroid medication and will arrange all treatments until the cancer is GONE!!!! :-)

Here is what came out of today's appointment:

• Tomorrow I will fast and then have a blood test to check my TSH, T4, Calcium, and hormones since I am on birth control (I think they are under control for the most part!!! HAHA)
• Tomorrow at 2:30pm I will have an ultrasound on my entire neck and collarbone to see if there are any new tumors - this is just a regular check up to ensure there aren't any new little buggers (if there are that means biopsies)
• The doctor will call me after the blood test results come in to tell me if she is going to change my thyroid medication dosage and then I will be on that dose for 4 months
• THEN in FOUR months I see her again for a thema"something"globum (some big word I cannot remember) test to see if there is any thyroid tissue left or that has grown back (if so that means more tests to see if it is cancerous)
• THEN NEXT APRIL I will be taken off my medication for a while (oh I will be so lovely again - I will give you all plenty of warning!!!) and then I will have a complete body scan to see if there is any cancer in my body at all. IF NOT THEN THEY CONSIDER ME CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!
• So, tomorrow we don't want to see any new tumors, in 4 months we don't want to see any thyroid tissue, and next April we don't want to see ANY CANCER!!
• She also said that it will take about 3 more months for the radiation to do it's job so she could not tell me that I am cancer free today! :-(

BUT - we are getting there and I feel GREAT so I could not be happier! :-)

I am going to leave you with this incredible story that recently happened to me:

I had a new patient come in recently on a Friday, he was in his 50's and it looked like he had just been beaten down by life lately. It was decided that he needed back surgery so it was my job to sit with him and explain the process and see if he had any additional questions. He started talking about his back pain and then told me he had recently been diagnosed with cancer and he has been very depressed for a few years. Then of course I put a big ol' smile on my face and told him that I too had back surgery (the same one he was needing) and that I too had been recently diagnosed with cancer but everything has turned out great. He smiled for the first time and then told me that he knew that he was meant to meet me that day, that he has not been able to talk to anyone in years that has understood him the way that I did. He just kept repeating that he was so happy and that I really changed his outlook on everything. He then said he was so happy and was looking forward to start living with a positive outlook. He just kept smiling and telling me how amazing it was that he met me and he knew it all happened for reason that day.

I called him on Monday, then on Tuesday, and did not hear back from him. I started to get worried that he wasn't returning my calls and so I decided to look into it a bit more. That is when I discovered that he had passed away shortly after we had that conversation. I don't know why or how he passed, but I just know that I was one of the last people he talked to.

At first I cried so hard for him not being able to have a little bit longer on this earth to enjoy his new found happiness and outlook on life. After crying all my tears I do see that at least he got to die with peace and happiness in his life after not having it for so long.

I feel so overwhelmed that God would use me in this way and it just shows me that each and every day God brings people into our lives and our actions and how we act have a direct impact on others.

I hope this story is as powerful to you as it has been for me! I will think of him every day and think that each person I meet could possibly be another person that God has placed in my path for a very specific reason!

LOVE YOU ALL!

I will give you an update after my ultrasound

(probably Sat AM because we are seeing BATMAN tomorrow night!!!) :-)

GO MOMO!!!!

(soon to be NOMOMOMO!!! HAHA)