GREAT NEWS!!!

I had my second scan this morning and the doctor said he saw NO evidence of the cancer metastasising!!! All that radiation that they saw this past Friday is GONE!!! He was very excited and just kept saying, "excellent!!". He also stated that I am 100% safe to be around and I drilled him about Ginger and Brenna and he said with out a doubt it is MORE that 100% safe. I did tell Ginger that I will be coming over ASAP but just to make sure (I take no chances with my little pumkin) that I will still stay 3ft away for a little while longer! :-)

I am still feeling great on the thyroid medication. Tomorrow I start a WHOLE pill, I will try it but if I turn into the "tazmanian devil" then I will just stay on 1/2 pill until I can talk to my doctor (she went out of town).

My doctor said she would be calling me mid-June to go over how I am feeling on the medication and to discuss the next steps. The nuclear medicine doctor said they will do another scan down the road but they will give me a super low dose of radiation and do a scan just to check to see if the cancer is completely gone or if it has come back. I will find out from my doctor when I will get that scan.

I go back to work on MONDAY!!!!! I must enjoy these last few days since now I have energy to! :-) I miss my wonderful friends at work and I am looking forward to chatting with them on a daily basis again.

We went to Mike's grave on Saturday and we sat there for quite some time. I just kept looking at his name on his marker and hearing, "BrandyGirl!!". It just amazed me that here was a healthy 33 year old firefighter with a wife and child who died from an MRSA infection and here I am with cancer and I am going to be perfectly fine! God has a plan for each of us and I am looking forward to getting back to my life HEALTHIER AND STRONGER, I know HE is not ready for me quite yet and I must make the most of what HE has given me!!!

The Scan Results

I apologize for keeping ya'll in suspense.... I have had a very active weekend! :-) Including having company, going to the Hill Country for some homemade pies, and going to Mike's grave since I couldn't go on the anniversary.

I went and had the scan on Friday and it was very interesting. I laid on a table for an hour and it was just this box that went about 1 inch every 30 seconds and scanned my entire body. They put markers on my chin and chest and really concentrated on those areas a couple of more times as well.

After the test was over the tech came in and stated that the doctor was concerned about the high dose of radiation that he saw in my upper bowel/lower lung area. So they want me to go back on Tuesday at 9am for another scan. There are 2 different reasons this could happen:

1. The radiation accumulated in this area and it just is taking it's time moving out (therefore I still have to drink massive liquids so I am urinating every 30 minutes or so - I am going to swim away!!).

2. The cancer has metastasised to this area. I REALLY don't feel this is the case and I am sure the new scan on Tuesday it will prove this! :-) But it does explain to me why I was doubled over with cramping in that area for 3 days and still get it about 3 times a day.

The good thing is the strongest 2 points of the radiation that showed on the scan were the thyroid and the lymph node area. The tech went over all of it for me and showed me my "glowing body parts". It was fascinating!

Since they stated that I still have a very high dose of radiation we feel it is best to still avoid to much contact with anyone, especially Ginger and Brenna since they are the highest risk factors (nursing mothers & babies). It has been VERY hard not to see my BEST friend and my darling little pumkin!

I started my thyroid medication and I honestly didn't realize just how bad I really felt until I started the meds. I feel really good! I have a lot more energy and I really haven't had any of those bouts of lethargy. I was terribly tired today but I think that is more of a mental thing knowing this is almost over! :-)

I hope you are all having a WONDERFUL Memorial Day Weekend!!

I Sprung Out!

Today was officially my first day out of quarantine and it was quite the adventure!

I went off on a mission to find a few things and every store I went into I set off their security alarms. I had to explain that I wasn't stealing, I was just radiating!! - HAHA! I finally just went home, it wasn't worth the trouble. How funny is that??? They had told me I would set off the Homeland Security monitors but I find it rather strange that I would set off security alarms.

The stomach cramps and nausea have subsided for the most part, just a little here and there especially after I eat.

I will start taking my medication tonight! 1/2 pill for one week and then switch to a full pill. Let's hope

Just a couple of more days until the scan, it will be so interesting. I am hoping to take a picture of it for you guys. I was able to see one when we were there the other day and they are really neat!!!

I was a little sad the other day after radiation thinking about how I have been so mean to Madge but she actually has brought so many wonderful things into my life and so many great things have happened because of her. I had to tell her "thank you" but "good bye".

The plan is still to go back to work on June 2nd. I have decided that at least once a week I am going to go across the street to the hospital and volunteer at the cancer unit to give back what little that I can. I have been so fortunate and I want to do anything I can to help others who have not been in their fight with cancer.

GO MOMO!!

A Break from Quarantine!!

I begged and begged to get a few minutes out of my cave to write ya'll this little note. We had to take great precautions but it feels SO GOOD to just walk 50 ft!

My wireless network comes and goes in the bedroom and I was anxious to give you guys this cool information. Thank goodness I can still do my e-mails on my phone!!

Here is what has been happening:

FRIDAY: I went in to the hospital for the radiation and 3 doctors talked to us one at a time going over more information and verified that I was telling the truth and I could comply with the "rules" so that they would release me to go home after the radiation. Here are some more of those "rules:

FOR FIVE DAYS:

• Avoid contact with individuals


• NO BODY FLUIDS TO COME IN CONTACT WITH ANYTHING (tears, sneeze, etc)


• No trips in cars, etc....


• Sleep in separate bed


• Minimum contact is 3 feet (6ft is preferred)


• Do NOT touch pregnant/nursing mothers - it will destroy the baby's thyroid (so sad!!)


• Have a sole bathroom


• Flush 3 times with the lid down


• Wash hands several times


• Drink massive liquids


• Eat sour candy (will explain this one)


• Do not use ANYTHING that someone else will use


• Launder clothes separately

FOR 90 DAYS:

• Do not travel across any borders


• Do not go into any governmental buildings, etc......


• IF SO I WILL SET OFF HOMELAND SECURITY MONITORS - how cool is that???

WHAT TO WATCH FOR:

• The radiation goes to the thyroid tissue first and can settle in the saliva glands, this is why they want me to eat sour candy so I will produce lots of saliva to get it out. They also said it settles in the stomach secondly (due to the swallowing, etc.)


• Hair loss in 6-8 weeks


• Bone marrow suppression (don't know what this really means)


• Nausea/vomiting (have had some pretty severe nausea but thank goodness no vomiting


• Superpowers - still waiting for these to kick in (just kidding - haha)

HOW THEY DID IT:

• Went in on Friday morning and did the usual consents, etc.


• Talked to the 3 doctors and they did thorough ID checks at least 3 times


• When they went to get my dose it was not ready so we had to wait an additional 2 hours


• Went back to have it done and they put me in this huge room and then on a sterile field put 2 glasses of water and then like out of a science fiction movie one person brought in a steel tube with large gloves


• He opened it up and inside was a small clear tube with a navy blue capsule


• He handed me the clear tube and told me NOT to touch the pill, just take it like a shot


• I admit I had to hesitate, I knew once I took it things were going to change. It was a big moment


• I took it and then the guy bolted out the room and yelled from across the way that they would come back soon and measure my radioactivity


• I made a few calls and just sat there wondering what really was going on inside my body


• Then the doctor came in with a yard stick and a machine that looked like a car battery


• He made me go urinate first and there was some panic because the toilet wasn't flushing and they were freaking out about the radioactivity


• I then was brought back into the big room and he held the stick out and measured my radioactivity.


• He said since they gave me such a high dose that I was omitting the highest amount of radioactivity possible. He explained that it was like a normal person standing in front of an xray machine for 40 to 50 days straight, that is how much radiation I was omitting - COOL HUH???


• He then asked me to participate in a study where I would chew one piece of gum each day and save it in a baggy... of course I agreed, what else am I going to do?? :-)


• He then gave me my list of "rules" and sent me on my merry way

The ride home was fun, Gene wouldn't allow me to speak in his direction from the back seat for fear my saliva would get on him!! Any body fluids that touch something makes that item radioactive for quite some time. I had some tears fall on a shirt last night and after I realized what happened I had to put it in a bag.

QUARANTINE:

I went nuts on DAY ONE HOUR 7 ! HAHA I have been watching a lot of TV and thank goodness my sister sent me a TV series on DVD. I have been really tired so I have been napping every few hours as well. Unfortunately, I was pretty sick all day and night yesterday and today I am still having those stomach cramps but I am STILL doing MUCH better than I expected and when I think about all of those people that have to go through chemo I thank GOD he has blessed me so much!!!!!

I am actually supposed to be quarantined for 5 days but since it is day 3 I am allowed the 6ft mark so I was allowed to come out and sit on the couch and eat at the dining room table. Of course everything is still a major production but it is quite the adventure.

Thank you to all of those who have called, e-mailed, and texted me!!! Having some human contact surely has kept me sane!!!!

I must get out of this room now.... I have probably infected something by now!

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

• OH AND I GAINED 2LBS!!!!! :-)
• My glue came off my incision and it is BEAUTIFUL! Can hardly see it!!
• I still have a tightness in my throat but NO tickle or burning

The RULES for Tomorrow!

Dr. Beasley called me who is going to administer the radiation tomorrow and here are the details of what he told me and the "rules" I have to follow, if I cannot comply (which I told him I could) then they would keep me in the hospital for 3 days. Instead I get to go home and stay "quarantined" in my master bedroom/bathroom.

1. The radioactive iodine that they are going to give me is specifically for thyroid cancer and it will go directly to the thyroid tissue to destroy the active cancer cells and then be absorbed into the bloodstream


2. I can go home 1 hour later


3. I cannot be around pregnant/nursing mothers for 7 days (BOO HOO - we had to say our "goodbyes today"!!!)


4. The radiation itself won't make me feel that bad - it is still just not being on the thyroid medication that has had me feeling these "bouts" that I get


5. What ever is NOT absorbed into my bloodstream will pass through my body through mainly my urine, sweat, and then my saliva. After I use the restroom I am instructed to flush the toilet several times and I must wash my hands several times for several days.


6. He used the analogy that I will be like a fireplace, the closer people get the "hotter" the radiation and therefore they don't want any living thing within 6ft from me for an extended period of time (he said the ride home will be fine)


7. I am NOT to get pregnant for the next year due to the radiation staying in my body for a while and since it is quite possible (those are his words) that I will need further radiation and it would destroy the thyroid of the baby. Therefore I must stay on birth control for the next year.


8. I am not supposed to be eating any items with iodine (which is nearly impossible!!!!) since the radiation iodine will go directly to what is in my body and THEN go to the cancer cells. Now, my endocrinologist told me I didn't really have to be on a iodine diet but to just take my supplements with no iodine. SO..... I hope that little issue doesn't mean my chances of getting rid of Madge on the FIRST shot have diminished. I am still very positive it will work - so far everything has gone PERFECT!! :-)

I think that is about it! Isn't it GREAT that tomorrow is most likely the DEATH to Madge!!!?? WOW!!!!!

After the treatment tomorrow I will come home and be watching TV, on my laptop, cleaning my closet.....etc. Feel free to text me or call.

AFTER THIS WEEKEND:

WED I start the medication for the rest of my life (I know... so dramatic - haha!)

FRI I will get scanned to see if MADGE has been killed!

I could NOT have made it this far with out all of your support, faith, and prayers!! There have been several times when I just wanted to give in and lay in bed all day but knowing what great support I have made me get up and FIGHT!

I LOVE YOU ALL!

WE HAVE A PLAN!!!

My doctor called today and here is the plan:

FRIDAY 5/16: RADIATION AT THE HOSPITAL 9:45AM

I get to go home as long as I promise to follow the rules which include not coming into contact with anyone or anything else that someone is going to touch. We have it planned that I will be quarantined in the master bedroom w/bathroom for 2 days.

WED 5/21: I will start taking my Thyroid medication - 1/2 a pill for 1 week and then move up to a whole pill

FRIDAY 5/23: I will go in for a scan to see if the radiation killed the cancer! Apparently the "live" cancer cells will glow and that will tell them if I need another dose.

Then we just see how it goes from there. Hopefully the medication will go well and the scan will show the DEATH OF MADGE!!!

WE ARE ALMOST HOME!!!

The only sad thing is that Friday is the 1 year anniversary of Mike's passing and we had Karen & Faith coming in to town and I was really looking forward to having them here and celebrating his life. But unfortunately I cannot be around anyone after radiation. In a way it is cool that I am having this on that day, I will know he is close by. :-)

GO MOMO!!!

Madge Pulled a Punch!

Well, after I posted my blog last night I started feeling very strange. My entire body started tingling and I felt a slight motion sickness feeling. I was half way through cooking dinner and I had to stop everything and lay down on the couch, didn't get up after that.

This morning I got up for my doctor's appt and for the blood work and I just couldn't do it. I had to cancel my appt. The good thing is there are 3 labs here in Sugar Land so I was able to do the important part. The doctor's appt was just a follow up to ensure the "scratch" in my throat is healing so it wasn't crucial.

About 11am I started feeling MUCH better. It is a struggle but the biggest battle is not physical, it is mental. It is so easy to get frustrated when your body starts to fail when you are trying so hard to fight it and there isn't much you can do.

I went to the lab which I haven't been to that one in about 2 years and the girl remembered me! Then this sweet 8 year old little girl came up to me and had her hand around her throat and asked me what happened to mine (I didn't wear a scarf today). I told her I had throat surgery and she gasped REAL loud and said, "they took your throat out and then put it back in". It was so adorable. I had to explain everything to her and she sat with me the whole time asking me questions. It really made my day.

Here is one interesting thing I forgot to tell you. Remember I was having that severe pain in my right jaw for about 2 weeks before surgery (couldn't hardly chew or open my mouth)? Well when I woke up from surgery it was GONE! My doctor the other day wasn't quite sure what that was all about but thought maybe there was a tumor pressing on a nerve and now it has either been removed or shifted relieving that pain. I am so happy that is gone!

I wanted to share with you what my bro-in-law Mike wrote to me last night. He is the one running the Chicago Marathon as a charity runner for the American Cancer Society (I STILL have a hard time believing I have cancer - it is hard to type that word even a month later!!!!):

FROM MIKE:

Sis……………race day will be a celebration of Madge's remission and the completion of training . I am thinking that Madge's eradication is like training for an ultra marathon. It is all in planning and execution. Race day is more like a reflection of what has been already been endured and what you are capable of achieving. See you at the finish line! M

That is so inspirational and it just proves once again that I have the

BEST family and friends!!!

WEIGHT: 143lbs - still holding steady

APPETITE: VERY POOR - I probably wouldn't eat if I wasn't held accountable each night

MOOD: Had a hard time earlier this am but great by the afternoon

ENERGY: 3 in the AM - 7 after 2:00pm

Madge might have given me a good punch today but I am still winning this round! :-)

Yes, Another Good Day!

Well my phone rings again.... I dropped it this morning and that seemed to fix it! :)

I had the Leal family visit me today! It was Brenna's first visit to Auntie's house! They brought me Chipotle and we had a great time as usual just chatting (and eating my yummy MOMO cookies)! :-)

My hands have tingled quite a bit today and my energy wasn't great but I still feel pretty good! I have my blood work tomorrow which will show my calcium level so hopefully it is staying up there! I figure there is no need to rush off to the ER since I am going to get my tests tomorrow. If I have trouble breathing I AM SO THERE! :-)

I had some great phone calls today, that is another wonderful thing that has happened during this. I have reconnected with some family and good friends. You know how your life just doesn't stop and you sometimes let too much time go between phone calls...... think about who you can call and brighten their day! :-)

I am looking forward to going into my tests tomorrow, I get to stop by work and see Dr. Zhang who always makes me laugh!

WEIGHT: 143lbs (holding steady)
MOOD: GREAT!! Loved seeing the Leals and had some great talks!!
ENERGY: 7 for most of the day until I had to chase the dogs!! :-)

I have also noticed that my appetite is starting to diminish each day. It takes a lot of energy to eat and afterwards I get REALLY tired, maybe it is just a psychological thing??? Don't worry though, I am held accountable each night when Gene gets home and he critiques my food intake so I eat well so I don't get in trouble! :-)

GO MOMO!!

Good Day!

Today I drove again and it feels wonderful! I went to Ginger's and we watched our favorite romantic movie Somewhere In Time! Of course we cried - I think even Brenna cried here and there! :-)

The day went very well as far as my energy until around 3pm when I got all tingly and sweaty so I decided to head home. My phone has stopped ringing which is weird (not the calls - I literally don't have a ringer any more). Tomorrow I am going to try to run some errands that being one of them if I feel up to it. So far I have had 6 good days in a row with the exception of a 3 hour lethargy bout on Sunday. THAT IS GREAT!

WHAT IS NEXT:

• 9:00am doc appt on Friday & blood work to see if I am ready for the radiation


• I should get those results by Wed (I am to call the doc if I haven't heard from her by Wed

I LOVE reading your comments.... they keep me motivated! Love you all!

Full Day Today!

Today was definitely a full day! I had 3 doctors appts in the building I work in so I started the day at 9am visiting my coworkers, it was fun to laugh and catch up (a lot has happened in just 2 weeks being away from work!!!).

Here are the "highlights" of each appointment:

SURGEON

• She said she had never seen a patient look or feel so good as I do after this surgery, she said she was very surprised and I should be some case study


• She said they did see something on my trachea as well but the radiation should kill it too


• I asked her about the tickle/burn in my throat that has been keeping me up at night coughing and she said she thinks it is a scratch from the tube they inserted in my throat during surgery and for me to keep using the Cepacol and it will eventually go away


• I DO NOT NEED TO FOLLOW UP WITH HER ANYMORE BECAUSE I AM DOING SO WELL!!!

INTERNAL MED

• She also said she has never seen a patient look/feel this good after this surgery


• I also explained to her about the tickle/burn in my throat and she gave me some pills to help with the cough that she said will definitely allow me to GET SOME SLEEP!


• She also wants to see me again on Friday to check up on me


• She told me that I made it through the hardest part with flying colors, that is hearing the news, telling everyone, accepting it, and the surgery. She said the rest should be a piece of cake for me since she has never seen a patient with a more positive attitude!!!

ENDOCRINOLOGIST

• She ALSO said she is very surprised to see me feeling so well however, she gave me the pleasant news that at about the 4 week mark I should be feeling pretty darn crappy! She said it will be a gradual process that I will just start feeling worse and worse.
• I will have blood work on Friday to see if my body is ready for the radiation
• She will call me by Wed to let me know
• She will either have me get more blood work or give me the date (either the week of 5/19 or 5/27)
• The week of radiation there will be several tests afterwards
• She did say since we do not have small children and she thinks I can comply with all the "rules" then I will most likely get to go home and not stay in the hospital :-)
• I asked her about returning to work after the radiation and she said since she is withholding the thyroid medication for so long it will probably take me quite a while to feel up to working, not until my medication starts to work and she won't start me on that until a week or two after the radiation.

I must admit, to hear my radiation might be a week later and that I should expect to feel a lot worse over the next couple of months got me down a bit.

BUT...... they were all shocked to see me doing this great today! SO THAT JUST MEANS I CAN KEEP SHOCKING THEM!!! :-) I am going to fight this tooth and nail darn it! I am NOT going to slip into the mindset of thinking I am going to feel so "bad" otherwise I will allow it to happen!

I AM ABOUT TO TAKE MADGE IN THE RING AND

BEAT HER BUTT!!!!

IT WILL BE A KO!!

I am still laughing (mostly at myself) and I am in good spirits (no more crying!!!!!).

Tomorrow I am going to have a "movie date" with my bestest friend Ginger (aka Sneaky/Sneaksters) and the ever so adorable Brenna (I love typing that!!!). I cannot wait! Of course we are going to watch our favorite movie Somewhere In Time so we can use up a WHOLE box of Kleenex! :-)

Thank you all for being so understanding and supportive!

GO MOMO!!

Happy Friday!

Well it has been an up and down week. Tuesday was GREAT! Then Wednesday I ended up in bed ALL day (literally). Yesterday I felt like my old self and all I wanted to do was create some new pieces of work (I will post one of my newest on the next post) and I was thrilled to feel normal again. We even went out to Lupe's with Bill!


Today was also a GREAT day! I received a great call from my wonderful Uncle Ken - a GREAT treat!! I also got to spend the entire day with Mama G, Ginger (aka Sneaky), and Brenna! We had a full day and I did VERY well until it was time to go, then I got nauseous and didn't feel well - it was probably the withdrawals kicking in! HAHA



The only interesting things to note are these:

1. On Wed am I weighed 135lb! Then the next day I weighed 144lbs! I am a bit anxious to see the scale tomorrow! My "goal/happy" weight has always been 160lbs so I have some room to play with but I just hope it doesn't happen THIS fast!

2. My incision was numb all day

3. My throat still constantly either tickles or burns (I have to have Cepacol with me at all times )

4. I wake up all night long trying to pull off the "turtleneck" off around my throat only to realize nothing is there

5. I now know exactly the symptoms of my lethargy about to kick in - I sweat, my whole body tingles, and I feel like I have taken a narcotic. I try to lay down when this happens

6. I am a little sad, we were supposed to be in L.A. THIS weekend and I was SO looking forward to seeing my dear friend Tonya (I promise we will plan another trip out - I am dying to meet your darling hubby and baby girl Ava) and finally live out my dream of driving up the coast (of course in a convertible)! ONE DAY SOON!!!! :-)

7. Today the "hormonal" issues kicked in - it caught me off guard. I have pretty much been crying all evening about one thing or another. I heard the song Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield on the radio and I listened to the words and it was like someone opened the flood gates (it is now MOMO's theme song - I am going to go download it)! My goal is to let it all out tonight in the privacy of my own home -

YOU ONLY HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS PORTION UNTIL THEY GET ME ON MY MEDS AND REGULATED (unfortunately that is another few weeks - sorry - LOVE ME!!)!!


Here is a sample of the words to that song:

Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me. (MADGE!!)
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.
Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A higher place.

Wish that you could, but you ain't gonna own me. (MADGE!)
Do anything you can to control me.

There's a place that I go, But nobody knows.
Where the rivers flow, And I call it home. (all week I have been thinking about my grandparent's place in Montana by the river - my "happy" place)
And there's no more lies.
In the darkness, there's light.
And nobody cries.
There's only butterflies.

The sun is on my side. Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky. I know I'll be all right. (AMEN!!)


Just had to share that with ya! :-)



HERE IS A REALLY COOL THING:
My bro-in-law Mike is going to run the Chicago Marathon with a team he is getting together and they are going to put MADGE on the bottom of their shoes to STOMP her out! TAKE THAT MADGE!


WHAT IS NEXT:

MONDAY - I have three doctor's appts, one is to find out the radiation date! I will keep you posted!


I leave you with this from a card I just received from Grammy (love you):

God give you grace and uphold you
In days ahead, in all you do.
God comfort you when you are down
And lift you up to higher ground.

God walk with you, step after step,
In crisis times when you need help.
God hold you close both day and night.
God give you love, God send you light.


BEAUTIFUL WORDS - HOPE THIS HELPS SOMEONE READING THIS AS WELL! Oh gosh.... I think I am gonna cry again! :-)


I won't wait so long for the next post - I guess I do have a lot to type! :-)

I will NEVER be able to put into words how much the prayers, support, meals, hugs, gifts, cards.... etc..... have meant to me. I have never felt so much love in my life and it is very overwhelming! My only hope is that one day if you need me I am RIGHT THERE for you to give you back a little piece of what you have given me! I LOVE YOU ALL (yes...I am crying again)! :-)