SU2C

I got home last night just in time to watch the last part of the STAND UP TO CANCER and let me tell you.... I cried my eyes out! I know how blessed I have been to have an "easy" cancer but non the less it has changed my world as I know it. I found out recently that if I would have waited a little longer to go to the doctor my chances of survival would have gone down to 60%!! That is still good but how would we have all felt if you would have heard I only had a 60% chance to live! What if I would have had the one type of thyroid cancer with a 6% survival rate???? We all know how my "easy" cancer has affected us... now think of those who are battling for their lives at this very moment! It makes me break down and cry (just started again) thinking that I was incredibly blessed and there must be something we can do to fight it and help those who are not as fortunate!!

I came to appreciate my cancer because out of it came some wonderful things but I also became angry at my body for betraying me. What causes these cells to grow in some and not others?? WHY ME? I honestly can say that I am happy it was me and not anyone I care about and I would do it again 100 times if I knew it wouldn't affect any one of you. It is just so fascinating and frustrating not knowing WHY my body did this. I really do believe GOD has used me with this and for that I am grateful and I wouldn't change a thing but it still is so intriguing.

I cannot wait to buy my SURVIVOR t-shirt on the Stand Up 2 Cancer Web Site and I am going to wait until next APRIL when I WILL get that clean bill of health! For now, I must stay strong and keep fighting the good fight! :-)

Here is just a little update:

Over this past week I have been increasingly feeling worse, i.e. faintish, dizzy, headaches, motion sickness, and tired. I will probably call my doc on Monday to see if my dose is too high. The problem is it takes 5-8 weeks for this medication to kick in so it isn't a quick fix.

My bro-in-law is still running the Chicago Marathon 10/15 as a charity runner for the American Cancer Society and I will post info this weekend on how you can donate and sponsor him!! I am still so touched that my loved ones have really joined in the MOMO fight and keep sticking by my side regardless of how "out of touch" I get because I am not feeling well or just so tired. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Ok.... obviously I am still feeling better because I am sitting here typing a book! I will post again REAL soon~

SU2MOMO!!

HAD A LITTLE SET BACK!

Hello everyone! I apologize for the long delay in updating my blog!! I must confess and be totally honest with ya’ll….. starting on 8/7/08 someone had said something negative about my weight loss that completely hurt my feelings and I couldn't’t stop crying for 5 whole days (I haven't cried like that since my Papa died in 2000)! Don't worry, it isn't anyone who reads this blog!! I didn’t want to get out of bed and I just had no desire to do anything! Nothing made me happy… NOTHING AT ALL!! After living in a complete state of unhappiness for 5 days I realized something had to change! I am not like that and I missed being happy and positive and going with the flow and enjoying life!!! Usually things don't get to me like that!!

I thought real hard what could have changed my emotions so drastically and I realized it was probably 1 of 2 things OR BOTH!! One being I had gone into a depression and the second being my hormone levels, they were 20 times higher than a normal person at my last blood test. So, we decided to take me off the birth control for one and I tried REALLY hard to have HAPPY thoughts 24/7. It was that or call for an exorcism - HAHA!!. Five days later at about 9:00pm I was sitting on the couch (ok I was laying there wrapped in my favorite robe feeling sorry for myself) and VIOLA! I snapped back to my old self again! It was the STRANGEST feeling!!! It was like all the misery just washed down the drain and I was BACK!

I really apologize to my loved ones for "checking out" for 2 weeks and I know you love me regardless and it means the world to me that you just keep hanging in there with me in spite of all of the sickness, tiredness, and now depression that I have gone through.

I now have a lot of compassion for those who go through depression! Just one more thing God let me go through to have more compassion for others!!!! It was miserable and so incredibly frustrating that I could not MAKE myself change back into my regular self. My doctor had warned me in the beginning that people with my diagnosis and on this medication usually will go through a major depression but come on… I really didn’t think it would happen to ME!!! Of course I never thought I would be diagnosed with cancer either! I am learning to expect the unexpected at any time! :-)

The dizziness and headaches have come back but my appetite is HUGE!! I haven't gained any weight but since I stopped working out over a month ago in trying to gain 10lbs I got flabby and had very low energy. I have now changed my goal of trying to gain 10lbs by the end of this month to 5lbs and I am going to try to do it the healthy way and start working out again. My energy has been SUPER low - I sleep ALL the time. So, gaining muscle is better than nothing and it should get my energy back up there! :-)

I had a reality check this past week as well. I had to speak to someone and be on my "A game" and I realized that I am not the person I used to be quite yet. I lost my words, couldn't concentrate, tired out very quickly, and just wasn't quick witted and then afterwards I came down with my usaul motion sickness. I realize that I am still sick and it will take a while to get back to the same ol' Brandy. At least I am not boo hooing on the couch anymore!! YEAH!!

Love you all and I will update again real soon (I love how random people come up to me and tell me they miss my blog - that is so cool!!!!).

Thank you all for reading and supporting me!!

GO MOMO!!!!