Good/Bad Report

Isn't that the sweetest picture! That was the funnest day! We ate my favorite SPUDS fish & chips and had the best ice cream! It is always so special to me to spend time with my nieces and nephews who I love dearly!!!! I am so ready for another trip to Seattle!!! I miss you all SO MUCH!

Well..... last week was very difficult. I would honestly rather go through 5 thyroidectomies and 5 radiation treatments than go through what I did last week. Again, not complaining, I know people right now who are going through MUCH worse but it was so hard not being in control and being able to stop my symptoms. There seemed to be NOTHING I could do to feel better, not taking a nap or taking any sort of medication. I got to the point where I literally wanted to "throw in the towel" but I had a few people tell me to keep going and to keep my eye on the end result and even though I cried and pitched a fit (don't worry I did it in the privacy of my own home - haha) I didn't just lay down and give in like I had wanted to. I don't think there are words to explain how helpless and frustrated I felt at not being able to do anything to feel better. Those were definitely the hardest few days of this entire process.

However, I am happy to report about Friday at 4pm I just all of a sudden felt better! I was sitting at my computer typing something when I realized all of my symptoms were gone and I felt extremely content. I did take several moments that day to just sit in silence and breathe and to keep reminding myself that it was not as bad as it seemed. Through the weekend I did farely well, I had my bouts here and there and I tried very hard to not over do it.

I am SO happy to report that today I had NO symptoms and no "bouts" of the lethargy what so ever!!! The only thing I experienced were several bouts of the coldness but that is EASY to handle (who doesn't love to sit down with a hot cup of tea or coffee to warm them up??).

So, I do believe my thyroid medication is finally kicking in and I have added vitamin B-12 to the mix which I also think is helping. I FELT GREAT TODAY!!!!!!! Of course I came home and took a 2 hour nap but who doesn't have those days? :-)

I am SO happy right now! Thank you so much to those who always keep me encouraged! I have been so blessed to have people in my life who know when to push me and when to just hold me.

I hope I can continue these great reports! I still have to wait for my doctor's appointment on JULY 24th to know what the next step is but if today is any indication I think we are almost there!

GO MOMO!!!!

Big Weekend!

This past weekend was my first trip since I found out about Madge at it was WONDERFUL!! We drove over to New Orleans on Friday and we had some bad weather on and off but it was a great trip since we caravaned with Bill, Ginger, and Brenna. We got to Grammy's house and Uncle Mike and Lauren were there which was a GREAT treat! We all had a wonderful time as always and Grammy fed us VERY well!

We stayed in a cute little hotel near the French Quarter... I picked it for the pool and location but we had bad weather most of the weekend and I couldn't get out of bed due to the down comforter and pillows being way to comfortable! :-)

Saturday we went to JP's family reunion and of course ate some wonderful Cajun food and once again had a lot of laughs. Unfortunately I started feeling pretty bad and it just upset me that it was hard to even have a conversation with someone. I was so dizzy and just kept feeling like I was going to pass out. This has been getting a little worse each day.

I rallied though because I was not going to go to New Orleans and NOT go out to the French Quarter at night and experience the culture and the fun to be had! We did go out with Bill & Ginger and I got to have some drinks and for those who know me know I LOVE TO DANCE - I got to shake my booty for a while which was GREAT!!! I needed to have some FUN and let loose after the past two months of treatments and constant thoughts of MADGE!

Sunday we went to Cafe Du Monde for their famous cafe au lait and beingnets (good hangover cure too). Then we headed out of town. We had the WORST weather and traffic on our way home! It ended up taking us 7 1/2 hours to drive home. I was so exhausted! I woke up today and felt like I had been hit by a truck!

Today at work was very difficult. There really isn't anything I can do at this point. I am just waiting for the medication to kick in which takes 6 to 8 weeks and I am only on week 3! I just have to suck it up and keep pushing forward. I wanted to give in so bad tonight and just stop fighting so hard but my sisters and best friend really kept me going today!!! I have been a complete emotional wreck (those hormones are still out of whack) and I cannot express how thankful I am that everyone is putting up with me!!! Just hang in there - you will get Brandy back soon!!! I HOPE!!! :-)

I leave you with part of an e-mail that my dear friend Debby sent me today:

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak. Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those who are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those who are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for those who don't believe. But I thank you that I believe.

This has been the hardest part of the battle for me and it is taking everything I have to stay focused and STRONG! Please be patient with me and know that if you do not hear from me it is strictly due to me not feeling well .... I will be back one day stronger and better than before but until then please just understand that I have to "check out" sometimes. Please do NOT take it personally! I love you all dearly and I cannot wait until the day I can focus on everyone BUT myself again! :-)

GO MOMO!!!

Getting A Little Rough....

Look how adorable my nieces and nephew are (and little brother Sparky)! They made me a MOMO sign (full of sparkles as they know how much I love my sparkles!!). TOO CUTE!!!

Well my loved ones & dear friends, each day has been getting just a little harder. I was not expecting this at this point so needless to say I am a bit disappointed BUT as I always say it is still not that bad in the whole scheme of things!!

I keep getting asked about what I am feeling so I am going to give you a quick run down:

• Extreme head rush when I stand up - no matter how slow I take it


• Random bouts of dizziness - about every 15 minutes


• Still have no taste and the constant metal taste in my mouth (although for some reason I ate a TON of chocolate today and even though I couldn't taste it I just felt better - HAHA!)


• Bouts of lethargy - which comes with shortness of breath - which is why I don't talk on the phone much anymore - SORRY!!


• Teeth/jaw pain (I believe from the saliva gland issues)


• Headaches


• Neck pain around the surgery site - I will get sharp pains out of the blue


• Increased feeling of something in my throat - below my surgery site


• I have had to go back to putting my head down when I swallow (it seems to help)


• Stomach cramps (from the low calcium)


• Feeling faint at least once an hour


• Entire body tingles


• Muscle cramps (mostly legs and arms)


• Nausea


• Disoriented (I have times when I cannot even walk straight)


• When I walk I usually have to have my hand out touching the wall for balance


• Extreme bouts of coldness that are not relieved by ANYTHING! This only happens about 5-10 times a day and lasts for about 10 minutes


• I hate to admit this one but - EXTREME mood swings!! However, I think I have managed to hold it all in rather well (I know some of you might disagree - hehe sorry!) and I have only been caught crying ONCE! I think that is a GREAT feat! Please just love me and hang in there! Just remember it is MADGE - NOT ME!!! :-)

I am sure that is not it.... there are so many little things that happen through out the day. I literally have to take it minute by minute.

My work was very concerned about me today and therefore I am staying home tomorrow to get some rest. I had to lay down at work today for the first time so I agree that I need to take care of myself.

Even though it sounds like a lot it still is nothing to be concerned about, it is just a part of the process to get everything in working order! :-) My parathyroids are apparently still mad at me and hopefully we will make up real soon and they will forgive me and START WORKING AGAIN!! :-) Then some of those side effects will go away. Who would have thought 4 little things the size of grains of rice could cause so much havoc!?

I am REALLY looking forward to this weekend in New Orleans - I FINALLY GET A BIG HUG FROM GRAMMY!!!! She has been one of my biggest supports and encouragers through this process and I feel so blessed to have her in my life! LOVE YOU GRAMMY!!!

Again, just being honest and sharing my process. I am NOT complaining - I still feel SO BLESSED that I have a great prognosis and this is all temporary!

GO MOMO!!!!!

I Made It Through The Week!!!

Well I made it through my first week back at work. I cannot say it was easy but I managed to work 38 hours! The last 2 days were hard and I almost stayed home but I have this inner competition with Madge that she is not going to get me down so I pushed through and it all turned out ok. I am very fortunate that my work is being EXTREMELY accommodating!!! I am working at my own pace and am able to take breaks when I need to (even lay down if necessary). They even put up with my extreme bouts of coldness that I go through - I have to drink hot tea and bundle up!! I wore a turtle neck yesterday - IT IS OVER 90 DEGREES OUTSIDE!!!

I received some lab work back and it showed that my hormones are 20 times higher than they should be so that explains a lot! HAHA! I have had to hold my tongue here and there. :-)

My calcium level is also low and I am experiencing those symptoms, i.e. muscle cramps (kept me up quite a bit last night), tingling in my hands, and abdominal cramping (the cramps are gone from the radiation and are now replaced by low calcium - go figure).

I did have a scary moment on Thursday afternoon where I just started feeling very strange. I couldn't walk straight, I was very disoriented, etc. I went home and rested and it went away. I have noticed that everything is such a FINE balance now. I have to ensure that I have all the right foods, medication quantities, water, sour candy (for the saliva production), etc... to feel normal. Otherwise I always have some symptom going on. I could go on and on about all the little things that I feel or go through but seriously in the whole grand picture it is NOT THAT BAD!!!! I am so blessed!!!!!

I still cannot taste and have that strange metal taste in my mouth. It has made eating a frustrating thing. I just wish that if I couldn't taste food then I would STOP craving it! HAHA!!!

I see my doctor on JULY 24th to get new lab work, go over the Thyroid medication levels, and to discuss what they will do next for the cancerous tissue they say is still there (the report actually says that it is either remaining cancerous tissue or metastasis disease - which means it grew after the surgery). I am sure it will just be another dose of radiation down the road, most likely a smaller dose. We will see. :-) My prognosis is still GREAT so this is nothing to worry about!!!

I am still working hard at being stronger and healthier than before this all happened. I am working out almost every day (not too hard because I still battle my energy issues). I actually saw a muscle the other day I never had before! HAHA!

I will also start physical therapy this coming week for my osteoarthritis in my lower back, the Thyroid medication it turns out makes that worse so I am taking the necessary steps to lessen that pain before it gets worse. I am ON IT!

I hope you are all doing well and just know that when I get a little down or want to just sit and cry (don't forget 20x's the normal hormones) I think of EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU and I get a HUGE smile on my face and I keep pushing on! I love all of your comments, they really keep me encouraged and motivated!! I really am so fortunate to have the BEST family and friends!!!!

GO MOMO!!!!!!

Some Updates

Today was my first day back at work but I was in training for most of the day so it wasn't to hard on me!

I wanted to share with you that over the past few days I have had some side effects kick in and I just talked to my doctor. Here is the rundown:

• On Saturday I lost my sense of taste and my mouth gets VERY dry no matter how much I drink


• I constantly have a strange taste in my mouth - the closest thing I can describe it to is a metallic taste


• When I stand up I get such severe head rush I black out for a second (no matter how slow I take it)


• I have sporadic muscle cramping - mostly in my legs


• I have been having headaches


• Some bouts of nausea


• I have times when I get EXTREMELY cold!!! This actually helped me out when our A/C went out on Saturday (they are here putting in a new one right now) - HAHA!


• I am sorry to say I have been quite irritable!!! Please love me and hang in there - I am trying VERY hard to keep it under control!


• Since these have kicked in on Saturday I have had some more bouts of lethargy but it is more to do with conversation, I can clean and go for walks (that was so great girls!!!) but to sit and have a conversation takes so much out of me. It is really strange. I think it has something to do with the concentration issues...... I am just going with the flow and I am not trying to figure it out too much - there are so many different little issues that if I think about them all it just overwhelms me.

I still feel like I am getting off easy so this is NOT complaining - just sharing what is going on!


My doctor called me just a few minutes ago and this is what she said:

• They still see some cancerous tissue after the radiation and we will discuss the next step when I see her in 6-8 weeks.


• She also said to keep sucking on the lemon candies to stimulate my saliva glands and that it could take up to 12 weeks to get my taste back or it could be permanently lost (I can tell if it is sour, sweet, tangy, spicy, etc... just cannot taste the flavor).

That is really about it! Madge is still here and it will be a slow process but she hasn't been that bad of a guest. :-) The side effects are all from the radiation or the medication I am on.

I am still holding steady at 144lbs and now with all the candy I have to suck on I am sure I will gain some weight and my dentist is going to LOVE ME!!! HAHAHA!!!

I keep getting asked some of the same questions.... here is a quick Q&A for you:

Q: Will I have hair loss?
A: With the radiation and the medication I am on it is almost inevitable, it should start in about 4 more weeks but it will only be "thinning" and not complete hair loss

Q: How does my throat feel?
A: It feels like I have something stuck in there all of the time, I get random pain at my incision site, it still feels like I am wearing a turtleneck most of the time.

Q: How is my energy?
A: It really changes each hour, one minute I am cleaning and full of energy and the next I cannot even talk on the phone. I just never know.

Q: What is next?
A: Well I am not quite sure. I will keep taking my thyroid medication (Synthroid) each day and eating these candies to stimulate my saliva glands but other than that I just have to wait until my next doctor's appt in 6-8 weeks (with the endocrinologist).

Gene got to witness me setting off a store alarm the other day! :-) I am still staying strong, mentally and physically. I have been working out every day (even if it is just 10 sit-ups). I am sad that I cannot hang out with my Sneaksters and Pumkin during the week any more, I was just cleared to see them again and then it was time to go back to work!!! :-(

I was excited to be able to say I kicked cancer in 6 weeks time but hey..... it comes down to the fact that I am just going to BEAT IT PERIOD!!!

GO MOMO!!!!